If You’re Still Doing Exit Interviews, You’re Already Too Late

You know that feeling when you start an exit interview and the employee confirms what you already suspected? The manager was not doing their job.

You can hear it in their voice. The disappointment. The detachment. The frustration that no one listened soon enough. The interview becomes a formality instead of a discovery. You nod through the answers, but inside you are thinking, we could have fixed this months ago.

Exit interviews often validate what leadership already knows deep down: a breakdown in communication, accountability, or follow through. But by the time you are having that conversation, the damage is done. The employee is gone and the manager’s credibility is shaken.

The real opportunity is not in confirming the problem. It is in catching it sooner, when the employee is still open, when the manager can still adjust, and when the relationship can still be repaired.

That is where stay interviews and intentional coaching conversations come in. They give us a way to uncover what is not being said long before it shows up as a resignation letter.

The Power of Stay Interviews

A stay interview is a proactive conversation focused on understanding what keeps employees engaged, what frustrates them, and what would make their experience even better. It is not a performance review and it is not a survey. It is a genuine discussion about how someone feels about their work and what support they need to be successful.

Stay interviews build trust because they send a clear message. We care enough to ask before you decide to leave. When leaders hold these conversations consistently, they create an ongoing rhythm of open communication. Employees feel heard and valued, and managers gain insight into what truly drives engagement and satisfaction.

They are not complicated, but they do require follow through. The real value does not come from the questions. It comes from what you do with the answers.

The Five Questions I Ask in Every Stay Interview

What do you look forward to when you come to work each day?

This helps identify what energizes someone and connects their work to purpose.

What talents do you feel we are underusing?

People want to contribute fully. When you ask this, you uncover potential that may be hidden or overlooked.

What would make your job more satisfying?

This opens the door to small but meaningful improvements that can transform engagement.

When was the last time you felt recognized or valued here?

Recognition does not have to be elaborate, but it does have to be consistent.

What might tempt you to leave, and what can we do about it now?

This is where real honesty happens. You find out what people need before it is too late to give it.

These questions create space for conversation, not evaluation. They invite honesty and build trust in both directions.

Making It Work in Your Organization

To make stay interviews successful, start by equipping your managers. Most want to do well, but many do not know how to have these kinds of conversations. Provide them with the framework, the questions, and the confidence to listen without becoming defensive.

Once those conversations begin, look for themes. Are people craving recognition? Do they want more clarity, development, or flexibility? These patterns point directly to what your culture needs most.

Follow up in a visible and genuine way. When employees see that their feedback led to real change, trust grows faster than any engagement initiative could ever build it.

Make this part of your normal rhythm. Blend these questions into one-on-one meetings, check-ins, or leadership discussions. It should not feel like another HR program. It should feel like the way you do business.

The best part is what happens next. When employees feel heard, they stay. They engage. And they become your best ambassadors for the kind of culture you want to build.

The Bottom Line

Exit interviews still have their place, but if they are your main source of feedback, you are already behind.

The most successful organizations do not wait for people to leave to learn what is wrong. They ask early, listen fully, and act quickly. They make feedback part of the culture, not a reaction to a resignation.

If you are ready to move from reaction to prevention, start by asking better questions. The answers will tell you exactly what your people need, and they will give your managers the chance to rise to the occasion before the good ones walk out the door.

When HR challenges start impacting operations, culture, or compliance, having the right support matters. JTS HR Consulting offers practical guidance, training, and project-based support tailored to real-world workplaces. Learn more on the Services page.